Thursday, April 14, 2005

mayberry, usa

For some reason or another, our local paper has decided to begin printing the weekly Sheriff's Department Report in its publication. Now, it is true that the information is public record, it's just that most papers have better things to report than every act of speeding, battery and stupidity that occurs througout the week in a small town.

Here is a selection of a few stories that are included in this weeks report.

April 4, Terroristic threat
A Satilla Church Road man reported that his neighbor flashed his lights at him on his way to work. The compainant stopped to talk with him and the offender got out of his vehicle, came to the complainants vehicle with a semi-automatic pistol in his hand, accusing him of messing with his stuff.

April 8, Simple assault, battery, terroristic threat
A man reported that another man approached him at at Jesse Thomas Road residence saying he was going to kick his butt. He said the suspect put his finger in his face and scratched his nose. The victim and witnesses said the suspect went to his vehicle, retreived a stick and tried to get the victim, but witnesses intervened and stopped him.

April 10, Disorderly conduct
A Denton man reported that his granddaughter was driving by his residence, cursing him and shooting him a bird. Another deputy had a call the day before in reference to the same conduct and advised the suspect to stay away from the complainant and not to ride by his residence causing problems.

Unfortunately, all of the above listed incidents are real occurences. However, as far as I know, Barney nipped all of them in the bud. Wheeew, I was worried there for a minute.
posted by Christie